hope of despair

I always thought that that person was the traitor, the betrayer… But only now did I know, the person was not , but turns out I was …. That person did not leave us, that person did not leave the pack, it was I, I was the one who grew apart… I hated betrayers, I hated traitors, little did I know, I was what I hate all along..

She walked with blood around her,
She yells and yells to keep away her fears…
Little did she know my dear,
Her fears have always been here…
Inside of her , slowly surrounding her…

She screams when she looked into a mirror,
A face of fear and her hair so curl,
She was her own night mare,
She says the pain is too much to bare..

The devil in her smiling a way,
Watching her as she slowly dies away,
She screams and screams and screams ,
Until a sudden where the lights go dim

She search and search around her,
She sees a cat , it sat so still,
Looking at her and gave a purr,
She walked to it as if it was hers,
The cat ran and there it was,
What she has been searching for,
A knife which she would stab her core….

Laughing away as she did it,
She woke up a sleeping kid,
The boy scream as his mother stab away,
She said fear not my dear ,
All our fears have gone as sun shines the day,
The boy cried as the mother died,
She smiled and continue walking to the light..

She scream out of no where,
It was a dream of despair,
She ran to her son’s room ,
As she feared of what is her doom,
He was sleep there,
Dreaming of something he would soon share
She gave a sigh of relief,
She looked around the place she lived…
And suddenly…

That’s for u to think..

i am tired of saying i am sorry

I am sorry if i hurt you, or any one of you for the fact... I always wanted to be a good person, but i know i can't ... i never meant any harm , never wanted to hurt you... I just need time to think right now, that was what i said last time, i stay faithful to my words...

Sorry is a useless word... what is the meaning of sorry ? i can't undo the past.... why not name it Rryso... but apart from this word, i have nothing to say... so, sorry..

Try to be happy... Live life to the fullest, no pain no gain... No regrets...

In the end is just SCRAFS

SCRAFS?! what's that? No, its not the thing you surround with your neck.. it stands for School, Career , Rest ,Apetite, Friends/Family , Sleep...
Nothing else... These are the only important things that make up a great life.. School were everything happens and everything don't happen.. School is were everything starts and ends.. Career , something that we can earn money with , and something we love to do.. Rest, we rest to go the further mile... while resting our mind relaxes, and our view widens . there are more than we thought of seeing.. Appetite.. Some thing to make u hungry and feel like eating... Yum, i am hungry already.. We eat to live and we live to eat.. Friends/ Family, people that can be trusted , and where secrets and gossips are shared... i know we love them more than anything in the world.. Sleep, my most important to do list of all.. I love sleeping... I get everything in it.. An awesome School , Career , i even get to rest, have a big appetite when i wake and my friends and families will be in it .... All in one dream... hehe..

Nothing to do, is the joyous moment..

the joyous moment when there is nothing to do with friends, but u have to make sure there is a camera beside you.. Coz that is what will happened.. hope you like the vid, coz i know after posting that vid, my image is down the drain... haha.. bon apetite!! haha..

A message that kept me thinking..

He sent a message to me:

Its a sad luv story -

A girl had cancer and had only 30 days left.she liked a guy working in a cd shop but never told him bout her love. Everyday she used to buy a cd just to spend sometime with him. After a month, she died..When the guy went searching for her, her mum told the she died out of cancer and took him to her room, where he saw all the cds unpened and the guy started crying . You know why?

He had love letters for her inside the cds.

Both of them luv each other but never express it.

Him: what is the moral of the message?

Me : i don't know . what?

Him : come on, give it a guess?

what is it actually?

Me : when we buy a cd , we should open it quickly , maybe there is a surprise in it..

= . = lll

Him : no, we should express what we feel..

................................................................................................................................................................

THE END

Its over, H.A.P.P.Y

No matter what happened, or what have been said or done... No matter how much pain and aches endurred, in the end i believe , with my continous effort, i'll win.. I'll be stronger..

no matter how hurt, how sad, I believe that if i smile a little longer.. every thing will be like what it used to be... when i look at this pic of me, i would smile .. y? because i know that i can smile... and i didn't do a 3500+ braces for glooming my face and closing my mouth all day... Little miss sweetheart J is back... And as i said : Vanity is my best friend... haha...

Thanks to Richard koay for making me feeling better... thanks much..

A little of me..

Pressured - pressured when something i love , can't be done as i planned..
Eaten - eaten alive and no bones are left...
Reckless - My mind is always floating, don't know what i am doing...
Fat - still sad...
Envious - Easily jealous...
Careful - always careful when i speak and act...
Terrible - horrible...
Impolite - little miss rude...
Over - exagarration...
Naughty - never good...
Irresponsible - never want to be responsible...
Stupid - never was smart...
Torn - broken into pieces by all...

M - mixed
E - emotions