dang.. The worst day.. hate org miang..

ok , so this is what happened.. x guna punya orang.. some of u may say that i am not open minded.. i agree and i am old fashion, girl boy should not hav too many touchings... but this is too ...
i did a QTI... for u who were as blur as i was... what the hell was a QTi, it was a pretest thing... something to determine if u can take the test or not... so i was waiting for like an hour for my turn.. I was already like OMG i hate waiting... I shud have brought my dang sejarah files.. anyways.. there was an indian teacher sleeping behind me, and no he is not the guy.. he has a really big belly.. and this malay teacher came in and was like what is he doing , so he went and poke his big belly and asked : " oi, ank ni mai ajar ke mai tido?" hahaha... that was not the main point...
After a long hour, this teacher came in , and i was like : NO NONONONONONONONO!!!! no way in hell , i am not going to b judge by that guy!!! i guess i wasn't heard, unlucky me i got him, tengok muka dia pun tau dia miang .... geramnya aku... he was one of my ceramah conductor for the first time i went to learn driving.. he memang miang!!! we went into his car and i start the engin.. and i did the procedure and everything, he said : p buat parking and naik bukit.. i was like : ya.. den when doing parking time, that guy don't let me do my way, the way my teacher taught.. and his dang gear was so damn stiff , he went and grab my hand along with the dang gear... #$%^&* It wasn;t just once, miang fella... OMG i felt like slapping that @#$%^&* den i did another kind of parking... how dare that #$%^^&* guy tap my left thigh... stupid #$%^&* so damn angry at him by den.. After that we went for naik bukit.. i think that i did well, anyways the hand break was also stiff.. even my teacher never did that.. the @#$%^&^&* grab my hand along with the break..... stupid @#$%^^** i was determine to kill us both later when doing the jalan thing.. he asked me to stop at the side so he could talk to his fren, i was screaming in my head, and cursing that gatal punya orang... so damn pissed at him... i was planning to really kill him later when i drive out of the institute... after that he ask to go out of the institute... den out of no where he took sumting from the back and box, and that @#$%^&*&* asked me stupid questions...
stupid : yang ni ada apple juice ke ?
me : (looked) x tau.
stupid : rasanya ada kut ... sini tulis ada..
me : i tak tau la.. x pernah beli .
Stupid : hm, ada apple juice la..
i was really angry tat he asked me that stupid irreleven question...
he ask to stop at the side and we never went far from the institute, just out side its gate, the we U turn..
stupid : memandu senang ke susah ?
me : senang je
Stupid : betoi ke? mengapa u berpeluh ?
he really an idiot who ask u to look at me ... gila la!!!!
me : panas
stupid : mengapa panas ?
me : matahari
Stupid : x besa kena matahari ?
me : ya
Stupid : you kerja ke masih belajar ...
me: belajar..
Stupid : oo, form 5 la... sekolah?
me : ibrahim..
stupid : budak pandai la tu..
then he ask to go to the office... i swear i did really well except for that parking that he did not let me do by my self.. he was doing my stereng all along that time, how the hell was i suppose to drive.. he said i memalukan JPJ multiple times, i was never told like that by anybody b4, he really made me wanna cry.. den he saw my teacher.,.. guess wat that idiot said..
Stupid : terrible la... x boleh pass....
i was like T.T...

i really hate this...

Love? what the hell is that? now in the 21th century, it seems to be nothing.... when i was younger i admit i was naive, hoping for Prince charming to appear infront of me and help me put on that pretty glass slipper ... but now, now i really dislike really really dislike this word.. i really hate it to the extend that i am willing to kill.... It is giving me a big headache...

I am a very emotional person, i am pretty sure alot of people will agree... I get angry , sad happy , annoying very easily... i get pissed off really easily now as stress is building up , SPM is near pressure from everybody... Parents want a scholarship from me.. Tension tension... During this period i really just don't want to talk to anybody at least just sometimes... I needed time to rest... blogging is one way... Then a problem arises... that is capable of making a 17 year old girl hate the word love.. High school sweethearts are all so so ..... Not to kutuk my frens, some are really sweet i admit, like ehem ehem... hehehe... but some ? just dang awful... I feel irritated with it... I admit its non of my business... and i would never dream of butting in, but it is they who keep poking me, and i get irritated... I am really angry lately... the more i think the angier i get... but i am seriously trying hard...

Something happened this week , having connection to this topic, but it aint gud to blog it now, next time la... I found out long time ago that i really don't want to be one of those hight school sweethearts, i don't want to spend my only high school time looking at that same boring faces... I found out i have out grown my " dream " of having a sweetheart.. All i want was to do what i really want to do.,... My real dream, my real hope was to be successful, that feeling , that thirst for winning, that that thing... its so powerful that it covered all of the nonsense high school girls dream bout, giddy girls want... Some body may say I love you , but to me that is so not love, its not like i totally understand what it is, i just now that iits not it... I am not an anti of love, i admit that everybody has her mr right, the knight in shining armours... i believe that , but i don't believe that now..
Now i believe in success, In hope, in faith, in hardwork, in everything i do is right.. In power, in everything that is good... when i think of boys saying i love you, girls saying i want to be loved, i want a bf, i feel annoyed i feel like shaking her and scream what is wrong with u.. when boys say that, i feel like vomitting.. but when i think that one day i might b this, i might b that, i feel energize , happy and motivated..

so stop it, stop being needy, stop being desperate, i can't butt in ur life like that... but to me i will just look away, i would say nothing... becoz i noe how it felt to b desperate, u feel and look terrible, i hated desperate, i hated needy, i hated when i am that no lie, that's y i would just look away.. so please understand.. please have dignity .

dear leverne...

haha, this is for my dear fren leverne ong.. thank you for that award i appreciate it very very much.. but sadly i m not a gud IT whiz, i dun noe how to tag people into my blog and i'll learn it as soon as possible, but for now this blog will have to do.. thank you very very much, it means a lot



xxxx
Joyce