what is going on? 2009

alot has happened in 2009... we know who is our real friend, we know who could be trusted, we know not all teachers are great , we know that sometimes things are as they seemed... People changed, and they will always do... I read a few blogs during this holidays some from my friends , some from other blogs that i came upon... Its full of sad sad stuff like betrayal, backstab, hate , break ups, love and miss... ( similar to mine but i seldom post sad stuff )

I saw that some wrote bout their friends that betrayed them, some about unrequired love and everything... Friends , ya i agree that not all will stay even the ones that are close to you now. After a few months maybe that person will just be somebody you know. Same goes to love for our now young age, i have a new perspective now that there is no point to rush into a relationship now. I finally actually see clearly now hahaha, but people have to have some reason to make them realize . Like one of my guy friends, he said he would not date until he is 20 and i think its a really nice thing to commit to . He realized this after being in 3 terrible relationship with girls that acts like b*%$ches. So he started this new policy. I on the other hand, try to make it to at least 18. I've learnt that after i've seen that my friends who are in a relationship are all totally freaking out , all going crazy .. I definitely don't wanna spend my time on things that are so complicated, lets just say i aint that hardworking..

Look at them complaining , crying and worrying whether their relationship is going well its quite a burden for someone like me who just wanna have fun... Some times one may feel lonely but hey that's what the internet and friends are for hahaha... Some times your friends may chat with you bout wat her boyfriends did that was so romantic, yes we might feel envies ,and yes sometimes like special celebrations like mooncake fest or valentine's day you don't have a partner with you but i feel that as long as you tag a friend along , everything wil be just ok for me... and u don't even wanna noe how i spend my mooncake fest. hahahah...

Anyways , y so sad? y burden our selves with things that is going to break our hearts? Its not that i m asking people not to care, care but know when to not care too... I learn tat this year, i learn you should now how , when to love and how and when to let go.. I love power , and due to some circumstances and now how to just not care bout it any more...( totally different topic) ... Nothing stays put , the only things that we can depend on are memories .... that's y don't ever not bring a camera when you go somewhere... who knows maybe a beautiful scenery may just show up...haha///

wad am i? ur toy!?

Ok, i may not be the most beautiful, not the most elegance not the most anything... but what am i to u people? i hate the fact that you guys think that I am some girl who goes as u plan, i ain't not puppet and this doll is starting to rebel... You guys think that you are so great, its b'coz i don't give out my opinion dat u people think i am soft and weak, and easily manipulated, well if you know me well enough ladies and gentlemen i am the one who holds the decks..

If i don't say a word it doesn't mean i am agreeing, i am just giving you a chance to change ur mind bout ur plans, if not i am going to have to embarass u, would you want tat? since all of you think i am too soft, then let the humiliation begin... i don't mind, enough is enough...

Majlis penghargaan...

ok i am abit late.. ok we had our majlis penghargaan on the 5 of nov and i m only posting this now.. so sorry hahaha... i forgot bout it... u cant blame me.. i have important things on my mind...
morning - we went to school for our exams... our finals.... and we collected the prefects , yes PREFECTS' electronics such as handphones ,cameras and so on.... then its was our exam... damn I really could not focus... but nonetheless the dreadful morning ended with BIO paper 2 and 3.... hahaha... i think i failed it... anyways... we went to bilik pengawas and practice for the persembahan... and we ok, some walked to SP inn... while i ask my dad to fetch... hey , u can't blame a girl for being lazy... coming back to the main topic... we went there all sweaty and we set up Steve's keyboard on stage and the 5 MTs hav to escort the pengetua and PKs to the ball room.... and the fiesta begin.. when the previous KP gav his speech, i was changing into my performing outfit... and i broke my whole life record... I changed in just 5 minutes... wakakakakaka....ok the way things were that day...ok i never knew slyvia can play the guitar... this was the performance of the form 3s and they sang - this is me...the performers of FORM 4 .. they sang songs too...ok if u are asking, i played the piano... these is our cover hahaha... our theme is black and white...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89mBb0VJfGk - ok, in this link u can see how we play, sorry if the quality ain't good..

after this , ZE and ZH played the piano and it was great... and after all that... we did our fav thing - posing... we took loads of pics and we said gud bye to the senior and oso gud luck...i've warned u, we prefects of ibrahim are extremely good posers...wakakaka
ok... u got to admit is a nice pose..haha...gud bye my seniors, au revoir, bye bye, hastalavista , ciao, sayonara , farewell, bon vayage, zai jian..

the world in my eyes

i am sometimes curious of the world and the things especially the people that are in it... that day i was chatting with my friends about the kind of people we've been meeting in school like those who are control freaks , those who are fake, those who are desperate , those who can't keep their mouth shut...
As we were talking, we felt a sudden feeling that the world is already the end... not denying that the world still has some good people, and i am not saying that i am... but at least i am better, i still have moral tied to me.... Today a friend came to my house and she said that some guy banged her car and gave her fake number , i really sometimes feel hopeless with the world...

I often have a feeling to end my life just like that... Yes, its cowardly but i am brave enough to at least admit it... I am not saying that religion is not important... but have u tot that we were given religion to believe in, we were tot not to kill , not to steal , not to do bad things, but did we follow those believes? Religion is a believe that teaches us to be good , but seeing the world becoming something so unbelivable.... i question religion , and i question myself... nonetheless i still believe in religion, as god was my fear, i have always fear if i do bad, i'll go to hell, that's what kept me sane , kept me good ( well at least it better than bad).... I question those who laugh when we speak of god, i sometimes question the unquestionable...

Its silly when we think bout it, coz sumtings we just can't seem to control.. bout u just can't stop but wonder... Those who do bad, are they really not afraid of god, how can they become like that, we are good as we believe in good, they are bad is it because they believe in the devil? but the question is wat made the believe in the devil, what made us believe in god?

ARH, my head is growing bigger now.. haiz.... i ain't thinking bout this anymore... i hav SPM next year... haiz... i hav to think bout that first....