CHANGIN!

guys and girl, leng lui and leng zai :D i am not using blogger anylonger coz of some issues .. m changing to wordpress.. look up vanityfreak.wordpress.com ya! thx love u muacks :D :D :D :D

U me and Malacca

too long

its been so long since i've updated my blog well.. becoz i am just lazy ok ok.. after this post.. i will try to update k? <3

tears for the missing one

i am sorry to start my blog with a sad post.. T.T sorry! but i still feel its the best way to release my thoughts.

Today ( 26 June 2011) i went to Alor Star with my family ( mom and Bro) to visit my grandfather, who passed away 3 years ago. I thought i have stopped everything, stopped to missing, stopped to think bout a person who has left us all.. A worthy man, a man i would look up too..

As i was chanting just now, the words of Buddha my tears were coming out.. I did not cry but i held them back fear that my grandma can't take it. I think that maybe KL did change me, i became weaker emotionally and that's the truth. Suddenly alot of things happened and all i can do was just sit and stare i could not do much.

When i came back i realise i missed home so freaking much, i realized i still missed him, i still miss my dear grandpapa. The man who taught me how to eat, how to sit, how to act and what not to do.

Today i prayed for him, and today i feel at least i can do something for him, may he rest in peace.

i don't know what title

a long this week, i feel though lots of things had happened, not only to me but everyone around me, maybe its a curse, well i don't know i am not sure.

I don't feel like talking, i don't feel like doing anything at all, just tired, laughing and smiling is what i keep on doing, kept on doing coz its te only thing i know to do now. crying was never an option, why i m just freaking tired i guess.. no worries guys, i pick my self up pretty nice :D i channel all my energies to do what i love to do in the end. :D

i did a video, an assignment actually, and the best thing of it was that an appraisal by my own lecturer , that really made me feel happy and proud. but i know i can not stop there, i am working harder! i phoned my best friend yesterday and she just started matrix, she was so devastated, and when i was talking i felt so sad, she was all alone there with nobody i was always the one looking after her, but i guess she needs to learn to grow up :D

i dun noe, i dun understand, i am kadflkjaljfdlkajdlfjaklfdja ya i am crazy..

fallen too deep

Lately i am not feeling that great, i feel sad actually.. never in my life i had this kind of feeling.. its really not a great feeling. Pain, devastated .. i sound and feel weak and vulnerable.. but i am not like i used to be.. all given up and stuff. i fight and i am getting stronger.. no worries.. its complicated.. the people i meet the people i see, the feelings i have in side, the loneliness sometimes i endure, the hardship of being in a place where u can't do anything by yourself, most of all the walking out of my comfort zone really pulled the string :D

how i wish that i can turn from

to a happier a smiley-er me .. no worries guys! i learn to b optimistic when i am here.. i learn that nothing is forever and only i can change my self and my life.. so ya.. university really change people.. so stay strong.. :D

HAPPY and Thankful

i've stop writing bout my blog for quite some time now coz i was lazy and busy mostly lazy dears hahahahah.. sorry la~ anyways, i felt serene today coz yesterday was a bad day good day kinda thing.

Yesterday morning i organized an Open Mic, with zen of course, can't manage without her.. Things went so so damn wrong, i was so damn nervous so damn scared, i felt as if i wanna cry .. But my good friends zen, jason and jeff were there to support and support they did.. and of course who can ever forget my sweetheart Dance club.. seriousl

y i love them so damn much i wanna cry when i think about them, kl is such a

scary place yet knowing them, is like omg, they really help me so damn much with the open mic session, they make me

wanna be like them so much.

love them to the max wei! hahahhahahahaha.. :D

then we went sunway together , me zen and jason ... it was fun .. we shopped .. i havent shop for a long time, my body began to rust hahhahaah... den jason fetch me back to taylor Uni, den i went for a socialite event it was interesting.I was scouting for people to perform for my next open mic session, they were amazing.. of course i had a chance to see my fren perform in his band Rosevelt.. guys just go and check it out. they are awesome, first time see them live and honestly i am in love with it,., hahahahahaha... i feel like a small kid.. they played for my fren coz its his birthday and he loves them so freaking much.. That image really made me really really really happy, seriously, i smiled the whole time..

then its time to go back, and it was 10.30 T.T too late, the bus oso not yet come, and i was alone .. i was so freaking scared. i was about to sms Jeff to fetch me. when he came out from the bus stop, and i was really thanking god that time hahahah.. and he asked a question i wanted to ask a long long time ago: do u wan me to fetch u home! hahahahahahahahah.. damn happy..

It is really good that he forgot to take sumting if not i might be crying tat time.. T.T we went to give his fren something, and in the car i was like laughing laughing smiling smiling, which seriously i don't do often.

I don't noe what was wrong with me yesterday, but i just felt really serene and smiled all the way, i hope things stay the same .. i like that feeling.. :D hahahahhah.. ok peeps.. bye bye hahhahahahaah