CHANGIN!

guys and girl, leng lui and leng zai :D i am not using blogger anylonger coz of some issues .. m changing to wordpress.. look up vanityfreak.wordpress.com ya! thx love u muacks :D :D :D :D

U me and Malacca

too long

its been so long since i've updated my blog well.. becoz i am just lazy ok ok.. after this post.. i will try to update k? <3

tears for the missing one

i am sorry to start my blog with a sad post.. T.T sorry! but i still feel its the best way to release my thoughts.

Today ( 26 June 2011) i went to Alor Star with my family ( mom and Bro) to visit my grandfather, who passed away 3 years ago. I thought i have stopped everything, stopped to missing, stopped to think bout a person who has left us all.. A worthy man, a man i would look up too..

As i was chanting just now, the words of Buddha my tears were coming out.. I did not cry but i held them back fear that my grandma can't take it. I think that maybe KL did change me, i became weaker emotionally and that's the truth. Suddenly alot of things happened and all i can do was just sit and stare i could not do much.

When i came back i realise i missed home so freaking much, i realized i still missed him, i still miss my dear grandpapa. The man who taught me how to eat, how to sit, how to act and what not to do.

Today i prayed for him, and today i feel at least i can do something for him, may he rest in peace.

i don't know what title

a long this week, i feel though lots of things had happened, not only to me but everyone around me, maybe its a curse, well i don't know i am not sure.

I don't feel like talking, i don't feel like doing anything at all, just tired, laughing and smiling is what i keep on doing, kept on doing coz its te only thing i know to do now. crying was never an option, why i m just freaking tired i guess.. no worries guys, i pick my self up pretty nice :D i channel all my energies to do what i love to do in the end. :D

i did a video, an assignment actually, and the best thing of it was that an appraisal by my own lecturer , that really made me feel happy and proud. but i know i can not stop there, i am working harder! i phoned my best friend yesterday and she just started matrix, she was so devastated, and when i was talking i felt so sad, she was all alone there with nobody i was always the one looking after her, but i guess she needs to learn to grow up :D

i dun noe, i dun understand, i am kadflkjaljfdlkajdlfjaklfdja ya i am crazy..

fallen too deep

Lately i am not feeling that great, i feel sad actually.. never in my life i had this kind of feeling.. its really not a great feeling. Pain, devastated .. i sound and feel weak and vulnerable.. but i am not like i used to be.. all given up and stuff. i fight and i am getting stronger.. no worries.. its complicated.. the people i meet the people i see, the feelings i have in side, the loneliness sometimes i endure, the hardship of being in a place where u can't do anything by yourself, most of all the walking out of my comfort zone really pulled the string :D

how i wish that i can turn from

to a happier a smiley-er me .. no worries guys! i learn to b optimistic when i am here.. i learn that nothing is forever and only i can change my self and my life.. so ya.. university really change people.. so stay strong.. :D

HAPPY and Thankful

i've stop writing bout my blog for quite some time now coz i was lazy and busy mostly lazy dears hahahahah.. sorry la~ anyways, i felt serene today coz yesterday was a bad day good day kinda thing.

Yesterday morning i organized an Open Mic, with zen of course, can't manage without her.. Things went so so damn wrong, i was so damn nervous so damn scared, i felt as if i wanna cry .. But my good friends zen, jason and jeff were there to support and support they did.. and of course who can ever forget my sweetheart Dance club.. seriousl

y i love them so damn much i wanna cry when i think about them, kl is such a

scary place yet knowing them, is like omg, they really help me so damn much with the open mic session, they make me

wanna be like them so much.

love them to the max wei! hahahhahahahaha.. :D

then we went sunway together , me zen and jason ... it was fun .. we shopped .. i havent shop for a long time, my body began to rust hahhahaah... den jason fetch me back to taylor Uni, den i went for a socialite event it was interesting.I was scouting for people to perform for my next open mic session, they were amazing.. of course i had a chance to see my fren perform in his band Rosevelt.. guys just go and check it out. they are awesome, first time see them live and honestly i am in love with it,., hahahahahaha... i feel like a small kid.. they played for my fren coz its his birthday and he loves them so freaking much.. That image really made me really really really happy, seriously, i smiled the whole time..

then its time to go back, and it was 10.30 T.T too late, the bus oso not yet come, and i was alone .. i was so freaking scared. i was about to sms Jeff to fetch me. when he came out from the bus stop, and i was really thanking god that time hahahah.. and he asked a question i wanted to ask a long long time ago: do u wan me to fetch u home! hahahahahahahahah.. damn happy..

It is really good that he forgot to take sumting if not i might be crying tat time.. T.T we went to give his fren something, and in the car i was like laughing laughing smiling smiling, which seriously i don't do often.

I don't noe what was wrong with me yesterday, but i just felt really serene and smiled all the way, i hope things stay the same .. i like that feeling.. :D hahahahhah.. ok peeps.. bye bye hahhahahahaah

KL twin tower LIVE !

i am so proud i took the train! to KLCC.. T.T scaryyup, that's how i looked! i love it hahahahah..
they organized the concert i think., not sure dun care. hahaha
beautifully zen! hahahah.. i make no sense. its beautiful zen! who is beautifully zen as wellwho is more pweeettty? hahahahahha
KLCC tower!go go power rangers! amy so cute!they act like bros! hahahahhot! hahahahha.. ok so he is not korean, so what! i like them mat sallehs as well!must be watching colby, the concentration is unbreakable.. my fav pass time! hahahahthe whole nightamy looks tired! but aren't we all.. it was damn exhausting! my tired face!

blog!

sorry guys, i dun think i would be posting anything soon, i am too sad, tired, and lazy plus busy to do anything with this blog anymore.. so tata! love u guys..

KLCC

results!

sorry its been too long.. i am busy lately and i totally have exams next next week and camp next week ! AIESEC!! woooo!!! hahahah... sorry.. lol.. anyways.. lets continuelengluis ! hahahah.. lol SL so nervous PL so relaxed..
so nice they get to get their results on stage! X(their happy faces!
receiving hugs from multiple ppl, its LMW ! 11A+ la... lol.. hahahahaah

I <3 this pic.!! we are all in here! yay!!! finally.. ya, after the cruel spm result taking session its a relax session.. KBOX!!! sing our hearts out! woooo~pelajar terbaik SMKI shakes hand dengan Dato' Lee San Wei, hahahaha di Kbox

ya well we hav nothing to do ma! can't blame us..
VM Vm Vm! fly like a g6.. wa PK really yeng! SL expression is like hmp, we are the best!
arh, too late.. they came down d..

Ok, ppl ask me how was my result , to some i say ok la, to some i say not ok.. coz i really dun noe if its ok or not.. 8A+ and 2 A and 1B ..before the dday i was really emotionless, i wasnt sad wasnt happy wasnt excited at all coz maybe the fact that i am already studying affected me. anyways, when i was bersalam-ing with my PK HEM, he was like : " JOYCE, Y CAM TU? 1 B" i was like :" CIKGU, mengapa u bagitau i, sedih pulak ni!

after multiple ppl went up stage to get their results i was like damn la.. its real. and its bcoz of BC!
i took my result from my teacher and another shocking news 2 As i was like WAT!!!??!!! for acc and bio! T.T i was really so confident dat i was going to get at least 9 A+ and i was hit so hard, ok so not tat hard by reality.. after finding PK, i was crying like hell.. and my mom Scolded me for crying when she said my result was very good.. Its really realy sad for me la.. I was too confident and i was too expecting something. So to some ppl its a good result but to ppl who understand me well enough its not that good for me.. I was never a str8 A student , that's true.. But when it comes to major exams i am no fool.. so sorry for making a big fuss. I was just in shocked!

my boyfrien????? NO!!!!

hahahahha.. andrew! so funny la ur face... aww, he loves Joycehe loves thinner than i am! =.=
the V - vegetarian shop in our school! YES!!! wakakakakak sedap kut! hahahalol, act cool pulak budak ni! i love that shirt la andrew, where u buy! so nice!what they watching> tsk tsk tsk! terrible la.. hahahahahaha.. summore b4 exam!lol, after exam! picture time!awww, sweet rite? NO!!!! hahahah.. promoting my name! hahahahNONONONONONONO! we are not holding hands.. i was pulling his jacket! Y? gud question.. i wanted to see my name in full hahahhaaha
lol, this is the sweetest pic! everybody please say " awww".. awwww...
ok, guys shows over! lately college life was BORING! so, i spiced it up a bit.. lol, andrew wears my i love joyce shirt, and i belanja salmon sandwich! i have fun he has food.. so its a win win situation! hahahahah... so i am happy i fooled u guys and i had fun with it as well!!!love is in the air??? hahahah.. so sweet la! spent time with zen in SLC it was fun in deed.. i hope u enjoy my explanation! hahahahhaha

sorry!

i am sorry i said i'll post a new blog, but am really sorry the internet sucked.. now its better, so thousands of apology! lets start!jang jang jang jang - SIN FANG!!!!! he was so sweet.. he came to KL and actually visited me! awwww... summore he kena marah from sister coz no parking but still awwww... so sweet
we went ice skating!!!! at sunway pyramid! ya, PK SC SL and MW dun jeles we very pro d! hahahahah
lol, tired after so long of skating.. 2 hours i think! hey, we are just beginners k? XD so much fun.. SF fell like 2 times i guess.. i din le.. hahaha" dei u don't understand is it? i want it by tomoro the proposal! if not, i dun wan marry u!" lol, hahaha no la... just kidding.. i was on the phone with mummy.. i CONVENIENTLY left out the fact that i was going out with SF the day before..


BEST PIC of the day! but SF , u dun noe how to smile is it?

veganism

ok, u may not understand wat it is or choose not to well its vegetarianism except i eat egg k? lol.. hahahaha.. so y i turn vegan..? y suddenly the change, before u simply think, no not bcoz i guy break up with me, or even i din get a guy, LOL, not every thing is about the opposite sex k? lol..

i turn vegan simply because i m too compassionate.. towards everything.. including the life of an animal.. y? i dun noe.. y some ppl dun eat fish ? they say coz the eyes are looking at us when we eat them, well same coz to the others.. i hope u read this a lessen ur pleasure of eating meat..

when u eat fish, that face of it staring at u, its mouth frowning, thinking what did i do wrong? why did i deserve all this? well, the diff with chicken is that u already chopped em up, so u dun feel anything..

alot of my frens a family do not approve nor understand the reason y i go vegan.. its a believe that i hold too, i feel that being vegan gives me a feeling that i actually help a community that could not speak for themselves, that counts rite? i hope u understand be4 u judge, i hope u think be4 u say.. i won't judge u bcoz u eat meat, i ate b4, i noe that taste, u feel its tasty. i dun mind, i just hope u dont mind me too..

what if

i have this dreams , this fantasy where i get to do what i wanna do, be who i wanna be, what if .. i was just dreaming all this while.. what if i can.t make it.. it fears me more and more, the fact is what if i am just a shallow pond , in side of me there is no fish, no sea weed no content, and when the weather gets tough i'll be like the others, i dry up and in the end i turn into a sunway lagoon theme park! i am a pond and will always be a pond not a fun park where people pee inside of me and litter my face. maybe i m just better of being a sandwich girl working in taylor university, nothing but a worthless sandwich girl..

we are perfect

ya, u heard me.. i said we are perfect. the definition of being perfect is being good at everything, being flawless, this includes being good at being imperfect, that's perfection for u .. some of u may not understand, some may not comprehend, but wat is a blog if you do not tell people what you think, doesnt matter if there is an audience or a listener, i don't like talking to people bout things like this, except for my very best frens. Being perfect is a mindset. i truly believe we are all perfect in one way.

Some of us may b perfectly beautiful, some perfectly mannered, some perfectly poised. we are only perfect in one way or two, ok three is a possibility. but a beautiful girl can be as rude as a b***h or an ugly duckling, can be so well mannered so poise. we are perfect by being oso imperfect.

i don't understand, why boys are so shallow sumtimes, not saying girls are not, just saying boys are shallower, u see girls in shorts and miniskirts and spaghetti strips and u guys go gaga, the thicker the makeup worn the more saliva u lose. but there are so many doll face beauties, how nany u remember, how many names how many faces, they just look the same..

whereas for girls like me, we are not beautiful but hell, u remember me and my name! ..

i am hungry!

beautiful girls

alrite, i tot of this blog after reading Lev's fb status, she said she is not pretty, i am going to say she is a liar! for real, beauty isn't about the face, the body and the hair, its the overall feel we get when we first lay eyes on a person, sadly the world is a very shallow place, very very shallow. only big eyes, pear shaped body and fair skin is considered beautiful . BULL SHIT! really beautiful ppl dun hav to wear make up, don't nid to buy very expensive clothes or act very elegantly. LEV! u are really beautiful i tell u, dun think that u are not and don't ever doubt ur self, ur confident , the way u talk, the way u take care of ppl ( especially me) really shows ur beauty!

we doubt our self , i do tat, alot! dare i say it, i am not a beautiful person, for real, u should see me when i don't smile, hahahah.. its bcoz i giv an occasional smile tat ppl say wa, u so pretty.. LIARS! hahahahah.. Guys are so shallow, damn, my fren keep saying that other girls who are my frens are so beautiful, i don't deny that they are pretty, really just that come on, u keep on saying wa, they so pretty multiple times! HELLO!!!!! u think i don't mind is it???! lol.. that's all..

LEV, u really are beautiful!

Macroom blast!

A new fren, MUGIMUN!!! lol.. just kidding , he calls himself the Mugi Man, i love calling him mugimun! ( he says he is very photogenic!)me - i am so sleepy
zoe - wooo, wat's this?
xin yi - I M HUNGRY!!!
me - i think i... JO ON!!!!! arh!!!!
zoe - i~ m ~ coming!lev ! my big sis, been there for me !i think i look like an apple, mugimun der wants my hair, xin yi wants my cheeks! hahahahX
i ate too much fries, i am gonna blow!aiyoo, act cute gila! hahahahxin yi - dun come near me!
me - yum , ice cream!
zoe - i m the normal one here.. haha
mugi - peekaboo!
me -i smell sumting smelly..
xin yi - yawn!
zoe - look at me, i say look at me!we all look like salted fish except for mugiman! he looks like a live fish.. hahahahok, i look abnormal here.. so is mugi! xinyi can't belive i did tat face and zoe with her look at me face again! gagagagaok, we look weird especially mugi! hhahahaha

a picture worth a thousand words, well . i just ruin my image ! hax